WHY MASTURBATE YOUR COCK ??

If you've ever masturbated to ejaculation, you know the answer to this question! In addition to feeling so good, masturbating relieves sexual tension that builds up naturally over time. Just about every male in his teens or older gets "horny," in which his mind gets preoccupied by erotic (sexy) thoughts. This is a natural process: Your sex organs produce and accumulate semen, and your body responds by causing you to want to ejaculate the semen and make room for more semen. One way this happens is through a nocturnal emission or "wet-dream" — an ejaculation during sleep. Another way is through masturbation. (Guys who masturbate regularly often don't experience nocturnal emissions.)

THE "VAGINA"

Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the "Backhand" grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It's a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It's also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the "vagina."

VARIATION: "VAGINA" FINISH
If you like the "Vagina" technique but don't have a lot of stamina or energy, masturbate normally until you can feel that if you don't stop, you'll ejaculate. At that point, wrap both hands around your penis and start pumping "Vagina"-style like there's no tomorrow. This will be a very rewarding experience.

VARIATION: TWO-HANDED "VAGINA"
Kneel on the floor, and lay down a towel. Lube up well, and lock together the fingers of both hands, palms up. Place your erection in your hands, and wrap your hands around your penis. Then put your hands (and your erection) on the floor, and pump your pelvis front to back, without moving your hands. Throw your head back, close your eyes, and imagine having sex with the girl of your dreams. You may have to lube up a few times, but it produces a very nice orgasm.
 

THE SKIN FLICK

Gently grip the skin just below the penis head on the underside; place it between the thumb and index finger, and start rubbing, almost like you're snapping your fingers with just your index finger. You won't feel anything until you're almost about to ejaculate.

Variation: Start masturbating normally, paying close attention to the penis head. When you feel you're about to ejaculate, slow down and switch to the Skin Flick technique and continue. With this variation you usually don't have as strong an orgasm as when you use the Skin Flick method all the way from the start.

CIRCLE 'N' STROKE

With one hand, do the typical "up and down" motion — but with one finger of the other hand, circle around the head of your penis. This resulting orgasm will be great!
 

THE BELLY RUB

Get an erection, and if you want, lube up your penis really well, and also lube up your lower stomach area just above your pubic hair and below belly button. Place the base of your thumb just below the head of your penis and under it, so it enables you to push your penis against your lower abdomen. When your penis is against your lower abdomen, push from right to left to right to left over and over again. This way, the surface area of your penis head is in constant contact with your skin.
                       

THE MILKER

Make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated right hand's thumb and forefinger, and slide it up along the shaft. When the ring reaches the head, make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated left hand, and work it up. Repeat the process when your left "ring" reaches the head of your penis. The idea is to go up without ever going down. You can use only the thumb and forefinger or add the other fingers as you get away from the base.

WHIP IT GOOD

Sit, recline, or lie so your penis points straight up in the air. Grip it relatively low, near the base, and make fairly short, fast strokes. If you stroke with a slightly circular motion, you'll find that your penis head "whips" back and forth. The idea is to find the exact stroking rate that matches the sympathetic resonant frequency of your penis — guys with shorter penises will have to go faster to get the proper action. You'll know you are at the right stroking rate when the head whips back and forth with a motion opposite that of your hand. If your penis is very hard and/or short the opposing motion might not be apparent, but you should still be able to feel the inertia of your penis "fighting" your hand. You should not have to use a great deal of force to achieve the sensation — the timing is the most important factor.

This method can be very messy! When you ejaculate, your semen can break up into globules that fly absolutely everywhere. You might want to spread out a large sheet so you're free to go for maximum splatter.

HOLY THUMBS
Cover both hands with a lubricant. Put your hands together and interlock your fingers between each other; with palms up, touch your thumbs, which makes a hole between them. Slide your penis into this hole. Tighten your thumbs and move them up and down, or rest your fingers on a counter and thrust in and out.

ELBOW ROOM
This can be done with or without lube. Get an erection and put your arm in a V shape so your elbow is pointing toward your penis. Bend over and put your penis in the crook of your arm at the elbow. Move your arm back and forth. You can also move your penis — twisting it in the crook.

THE CHOIR POSE
Start by putting one hand palm-up and put the other hand, palm-down, on top. Then curl the fingers of both hands, creating a tube. Insert your penis and either thrust or move your hands, or both. Using lube makes it feel better. It feels great to be able to have something touching the whole girth of your penis.
 

THE WINDSHIELD WIPER
Pull down your pants and underwear. Without lube, get an erection. Press your penis against your belly lightly, stimulating the head. Next, with a hand, make your penis go back and forth against your stomach like a windshield wiper. It may take a while, but it's great!

THE HUMP & SQUEEZE
This technique can provide that pre-ejaculatory feeling for as long as you want. Lie on a bed (or the floor, but a bed/couch works best) on your stomach, with your penis against your abdomen. With one hand, reach under you and grab your penis. Now "hump" the bed, and as you thrust your pelvis down, squeeze your penis. As you move back up, loosen your squeeze. Repeat these steps. Before long, you should get that feeling you get right before ejaculation — but don't stop or anything. Just keep going — if you "hump" at just the right speed, that feeling will last, and you won't ejaculate. If you secrete a lot of "pre-cum," it can get messy; consider putting a towel under you.

THE BASKET-WEAVE
Interlock your four fingers, with your thumbs just touching. Slide your penis through the hole created by your two thumbs and close your hands until you have complete contact on each side of the penis. Your thumbs will probably be overlapping at this point. Now just slide up and down until orgasm. The contact on all sides makes orgasm great.
 

CHOPSTICKS
With your dominant masturbation hand, spread your index and middle fingers as if they were chopsticks (or the "peace" sign, for you folks who remember the '60s). Orient your hand so your palm is facing you; the "chopsticks" should be pointing to the left if you're using your right hand. Insert your penis between the fingers so your index finger is on the underside of the penis (the site facing up, or toward you're feet, if you're lying on your back) with the middle finger on the top. Next, squeeze the "chopsticks" together and move them rapidly up and down your penis. Your index finger does the important job of stimulating the sensitive underside of the penis, while the middle finger produces additional friction on the top. Lube is optional when doing this; in fact, no lube, or very little, intensifies the skin-on-skin feeling. This is a very simple technique that produces great results. It may even be more pleasurable for men who can draw out their orgasms.

"ORAL" SIMULATION
To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand's index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis's contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the "lips," and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.

CRAWL THE WALL
This is good if you want to taste your semen when you ejaculate. Masturbate slowly or using the "Stop & Go" method for as long as you wish. Before you reach climax, position yourself on your back against a wall (it may be more comfortable to do this on a bed or on some padding), with your butt touching the wall, knees bent, and your feet against the wall, perpendicular to your body. Next, scoot closer to the wall; lift your butt off the ground and keep scooting in toward the wall. Eventually all that should be touching the ground will be the very top of your back and your neck. Your penis should be nearly directly above your face. (Don't stay in this position for long — it can cause discomfort in your neck and may cause it to be sore for a while.) Now try to climax as quickly as you can, using any form of strokes. If you're almost there to begin with, it won't take long. Keep your back as straight as possible, with your stomach in (and with a little directing from your hands), and you'll get a faceful of semen. Towels are helpful to avoid causing a mess.
 

THE PILLOW PUMPER

Put two pillows (preferably fluffy ones) down on the bed, one top of the other, and then slip your penis between them. Prop yourself up on your arms and begin to pump. This is a free-handed technique.

THE SHOWER MASSAGE

If you masturbate in the shower and have a shower massager, lie on your back in the tub, and turn the nozzle to a really rough setting — something that would give your back a decent massage. Put the water on that really sensitive spot on the underside of your penis. After a couple of seconds to a couple of minutes, you'll have a great orgasm.

THE LUBE-FILLED CONDOM

Take a condom with a reservoir tip, and fill the tip of the condom with a water-based lube. (The more lube you use, the better it feels.) Once the condom is nice and snug at the base of your penis, squeeze the tip, so the lube gets squished around. Then start to masturbate.

VARIATION: THE SLIDING CONDOM
Take a condom and put quite a lot of lotion in the tip. Then roll the condom down on your penis, and squish the lotion between your penis and the condom. Now slowly slide the condom almost off and back on again. When you get going, pull the end of the condom with one hand and then slide it back on with the other. Once you get the technique down, it will feel like your penis is a foot long as you slide the condom up and down. Then, when you approach orgasm, squeeze hard, hold your hands still, and thrust with your hips like with the "Vagina" method for a long-lasting orgasm that will milk you dry.

BANANA MAN

This is an easy one. Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis through that end.

THE BLANKET-RUB

Lie on your back (on a bed) and lay an unfolded blanket over you. With your arms and hands, tightly hold down the blanket to the bed. Now move your hips up and down and back and forth so your penis rubs against the blanket. It takes a while until ejaculation, but it feels good — it simulates a girl on top of you

LATEX GLOVES

Try masturbating with latex gloves (the kind dentists and doctors use). You can buy them at the drug store. For a variation, put on yellow rubber household gloves, and over them slip on latex gloves.

MATTRESS SANDWICH

This one is rather odd but cool. First get an erection, and then take a pillow and crawl between the box-spring and mattress of a twin-size bed. (Full, king, and queen mattresses are too heavy.) Lie on your back, position the pillow between you and the mattress, and thrust your hips against the pillow. The weight of the mattress is a new and interesting sensation. Beware — If someone walks in on you, you'll have a tough time talking your way out of this one!

VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM
If you use a condom while using this technique, the sensation is better and the orgasm lasts a bit longer.

THE LITTLE BOXERS

Put on some old boxer shorts that are too small, and pull your penis and scrotum out of the fly. Then pull the shorts up so they are tight, and fold the tops down, so you have a little bikini-type thing with your penis sticking out the front. This puts pressure on your penis that feels good, and masturbating like this provides a different sensation.
 

THE DOUBLE CONDOM

For this one you need 2 types of condoms: one that's non-lubricated regular or snug-fitting, and one that's large-size and lubricated. First, put the non-lubed condom on your penis; then put a lot of K-Y Jelly or other water-based lube on the larger condom and put it on over the first. Masturbate by sliding the outer condom over the inner one. You won't orgasm as fast, but when you do it will feel really good.

THE LUMBERJACK
This technique is similar to the Blanket Rub. Lie on your back under the sheets with your underwear or pajamas on. Get an erection. Then move an object (for example a TV remote control) across your penis horizontally with your hands. Once in a while, move it up and down your penis. Keep doing it faster and faster. It may take a while, but the resulting orgasm can be very intense.
 

CAP IT OFF
Get a tissue or a one-foot length of toilet paper and fold it so it's a square about 4" on a side. Loosely shape the square into a cup in the palm of the hand you normally don't masturbate with. Hold the cupped tissue lightly over your penis head, making a little cage with your fingers. Hold the tissue more or less firmly around your penis head. When you masturbate with your other hand, limit the motion to the shaft. The extra stimluation around the head is a great feeling — and as a bonus, the tissue makes cleanup easier.

IT'S IN THE BAG
Take a plastic sandwich bag and put a good amount of lube in it — enough to thinly coat the sides. Now put that bag on a heating pad set to low for a few minutes, so the lube and bag warm up. The fun part: Put your penis into the bag, and with your index finger, rub the bag across your penis head until you ejaculate into the bag. Tip: Do this where it's easy to clean up lube if you spill any.
 

IT'S THE SHEET
Get into bed and lie on your back with just a sheet over you. (Make sure all other blankets are out of the way.) Pull down your underwear or pajamas if you're wearing them. Get an erection; grasp your penis by the base with just a few fingers, and move it back and forth rapidly (toward your stomach and then toward your feet), letting the head barely rub the sheets. This is very arousing and can create almost unbearable pleasure.

BOUNCING MINTY TICKLER
Masturbate using a "minty" lube. The best ways to do this are: (a) Add some strong mint drops to a commercial water-based lube, or (b) take 3 or 4 strong mints or after-coffee mints in your mouth, and hold them there until they dissolve in your saliva; save up the saliva, and spit it into your palm. Rub the minty lube all over your penis and scrotum for an especially tingly experience. When you are near orgasm, let your hands go, and "bounce" your erection by flexing your PC muscle (the muscle that stops urine flow). Keep doing this until you feel an incredible chill on your penis — then continue masturbating. Everything you touch with the minted lube will feel tingly and great.
              

FLANNEL FUN
Take a piece of soft flannel cloth, about 11 inches by 20 inches, and fold it equally at one end over your penis head. While holding it in position, wrap the rest of the cloth around your penis so it is fairly snug. Now put your hand around the wrap of cloth just below your penis head, and begin short strokes up and down. The resulting friction of the cloth on the head will feel awesome. Cleanup consists pretty much of simply removing the cloth, which you can wash and save for next time.
 

FANTASTIC SUCKING ZUCCHINI

Get a large zucchini or cucumber (the texture is different, so try both), about 8" long and 2" wide. Slice off the stem end. Put it in the microwave for a minute or two; this softens the material inside. Then take a knife and slowly hollow out the inside, being careful not to puncture the skin. Try it on for size after it is cool. Now lube up — you might not need as much as you think, as the natural moisture inside helps. After you get going, alternately squeeze and release the vegetable. This will create a sucking action since the air inside cannot escape. Even if the air does get out through a small hole or tear, this technique seems to work.

THE BANANA SPLIT

Lay out a split banana on four fingers, palm side facing you. (The banana can run parallel or at slight angle — don't use the end that attached to the tree, as the stem gets in the way.) Lay your penis on the banana, and lay the banana's other half on top of your penis, and secure with your thumb. Now massage your penis head between your thumb on top and fingers underneath. You can slip the base of the thumb over the banana and take some deep strokes to relieve the pressure on the head now and then. Variations in pressure can help build an explosive orgasm. This method's author claims it "comes close to duplicating a very talented mouth."
 

COLD AS ICE

When you start to get close to ejaculation, place two to three ice cubes on your scrotum or crotch. The feeling is incredible, especially at the moment just before orgasm.

VARIATION: DOUBLE-BAG IT
Take two sandwich baggies. Fill one with hot water (but not so hot that you can't put your hand into it), and in the other baggie put about 5 ice cubes and a little cold water. Masturbate one-handed with the warm baggie on your scrotum — and when you feel orgasm approaching, switch baggies so the cold one is on.
 

THE BLOW DRYER


While masturbating, use a hair dryer to blow hot air over your penis. This heightens the sensation of orgasm — although it will dry you out if you're using a water-based lube.

BLOW ME DOWN

Get a small travel fan or something similar, and set it up so it blows air over your penis. If you have a more powerful fan, even better. This works best if you either don't use lube or use a non-drying lube like oil or Vaseline. Of course, this technique can be combined with many others.

THE TWO-PILLOW MOCKUP

First, get two fluffy pillows, approximately the same size. Place them side by side on (preferably) the bed. Position your erect penis in the crack between the pillows. Next, adjust the pillows to effectively create a "vagina": push the sides of the pillows toward your penis, and then roll the pillows' outer edges under you so your penis is up off the bed somewhat — this way when you thrust you won't hit the mattress. Now, reach under and adjust your penis so it's pointing downward at a slight angle (or however you prefer). Readjust the pillows for tightness, and pump away.

THE TOILET PUMPER

Lube your dominant hand. Kneeling at the toilet, place your lubed hand palm up and grip your penis. By "pumping" your hips, you can simulate intercourse. The toilet not only acts as a surface level with your hips, it also catches all of your semen for easy clean-up. Wipe your penis with toilet paper, and flush. Bye bye, mess.
 

COOL AS A CUCUMBER

Cut a good-sized cucumber about 2" (5 cm) from the end, leaving you with a cross section at one of the wider parts. Then use a small spoon to scoop out the cucumber 4" to 5" (10 to 12 cm) deep. You can use a knife if necessary to help form the hole you are scooping. Don't cut yourself! You must be sure not to make the hole wider than the diameter of your penis — a tight fit is essential. After you have the right-size hole, place the cucumber on your penis. It should be tight enough to barely fit. You will notice a fair amount of suction if it is adequately tight. The inside of the cucumber naturally provides a good lubricant. Masturbate normally, moving the cucumber up and down your shaft.

VARIATION: WARM AS A CUCUMBER
Once you've hollowed out the cucumber, lightly boil or microwave it. This makes the flesh softer. Soak in cool water for a few minutes, and then heat it up under running warm water. Dry it, poke an air hole in the end, wrap it with duct tape for strength, lubricate it (optional), and have fun. You can also rotate the cucumber between your palms to spin yourself to ecstasy!
 

HUMP, HUMP, HUMP YOUR BOAT

Take a small, inflatable vinyl pool raft and fill it with air — not completely full, but nearly — and put it in your bed (under the covers if it's a chilly night). Take off your clothes. Now, put some lubricant in the center of the raft and on your genitals. Saliva works very well — just build up a mouthful and let it out on your penis and the raft. Lie on top of the raft and test it by rocking back and forth, "riding" it. It should feel intensely wonderful and slimy — if not, add more lube. With practice you should soon have a wonderful, portable companion that feels much better than masturbating with a hand.

THE SOCK PULLER

Turn a sock inside-out, and put it over your penis. Then grab the loose ends on both sides with both hands, and — without touching your penis — move the sock up and down.

THE WASHCLOTHED SHOWER HEAD

While in the shower, completely cover the shower head with a washcloth and hold it there with your free hand. There should be a large stream of water falling straight down. Put the head of your penis in the stream and masturbate normally.
 

GOT ORANGES?

Find a large orange and carefully cut out a hole all the way through it large enough so your penis can fit snugly inside. Next, wrap the orange in a plastic bag (so the juice won't go everywhere), and make a slot for your penis. Finally, anchor it between the mattress and box spring, and hump away. Note: This one can be messy, and it smells like oranges!

THE BLIND MELON

Get a nice-size cantaloupe and cut a hole about the size of your penis. You can insert your penis into the cantaloupe and either move the fruit up and down or hump it — either way, it feels great. You may want to put a small hole in the opposite end if the suction gets too strong. The feel of the warm juices running down your scrotum is out of sight. Clean up is not too bad, and you might be able to do it more than once with the same melon.

THE COLD, WET WASHCLOTH

Wet a washcloth and wring it out so it isn't dripping. When you're close to orgasm, wrap the washcloth (which should still be cold) around your scrotum and the area between the scrotum and anus, and gently apply pressure as you begin orgasm. (Don't press too hard on your crotch, as that can keep the semen from coming out, which is unhealthy.
 

PILLOW PEOPLE

Fashion a "companion" out of pillows and comforters; wrap it up tightly and shape it like a person. You can even add water balloons for breasts or a pillow "head" — be creative and explore. If possible, wrap the outside with a silk or satin sheet — something soft and skin-like. Make a deep depression or crevice with the pillows; stuffing some silk or satin fabric in the hole makes a lubricant free "vagina." Variation: Put a lubricated rubber glove or plastic bag on your penis and insert it into the crevice.
 

HOT-WATER PARADISE


First, lubricate your penis generously with petroleum jelly (Vaseline); its water resistance is very important. Then masturbate with your penis submerged in very warm water. This works best with a shallow tub or a pot. Your penis (and preferably your scrotum, too) must remain submerged in the water at all times, and the hotter the water you can stand, the better. (Note: If it's too hot to keep your hand in easily, it's too hot!) A hot tub doesn't have the same effect, because the rest of your body is at the same temperature as your penis. When you ejaculate, the hot water heightens the sensation like no other.

THE WATER GLASS

Get a glass of very warm water (not hot water!), and while sitting in a chair, let your testicles hang over the edge, immersing them in the warm water. Then masturbate normally.

THE DRY TUBE


Take the tube from inside a toilet roll, and get a sheet of tissue. Wrap the tissue completely around the end of your penis, slide the tube over it (it should be quite a tight fit), and masturbate normally with the tube; the tissue takes the place of any lubricant. Beware — this makes quite a lot of noise, but it's an interesting sensation.

SHOWER CURTAIN MADNESS

When masturbating in the shower, wrap the shower curtain around your penis. This works best with the "Backhand" grip.

THE SWIM CAP

Take a latex swim cap, turn it inside out, and put it in a toilet-paper roll or something longer. Fold 2 inches of the cap over the roll, and fix it with a rubber band or tape. Then put some lubrication in the cap, and have a great time!
 

WING & A PRAYER

Inflatable "water wings" — the kind children use in the swimming pool — make for a pretty realistic-feeling vagina. You can inflate them to any degree of "tightness" you like. Just a little lube and pump away. Plus, of course, you can easily buy them without embarrassment at any discount store for only a few dollars — although they are a seasonal item and may be hard to find in the wintertime.

VARIATION: WING, PRAYER & WATER
Instead of inflating the water wing with air, fill it with warm water. (But don't try to use water-filled wings as flotation devices!)
 

THE RUBBER FINGER

This project is elaborate, but it's good if you produce a lot of "pre-cum" while you're masturbating. You'll need three things: a stretchy latex rubber glove (the kind dentists use); baby oil; and a washcloth soaking in hot water. Take off the rubber glove and cut off the longest finger. Turn the finger inside out, put three or four drops of baby oil in the finger, and spread the oil evenly on the surface. Take a few drops of oil and spread it over your erect penis (don't use too much). Next, take the finger and starting from the tip, pull it over your penis while reversing it back from being inside-out; pull it as far down your shaft as possible (without the latex breaking, of course). At the same time that you're holding the latex finger down (don't let it glide back up the shaft), rinse out your washcloth and wrap it around your erect penis fairly tightly. (Hint: It has to be pretty warm.) Wait a minute or two, and surprise, surprise — like magic, the latex sticks tight around your penis. The next part is the best. Using your muscle contractions pump as much "pre-cum" into the tip of the finger as you can. The longer you do this, the more you fill it up — and the more you fill it up, the further down the shaft you get the juices. While you're doing this, you can slowly take yourself to heaven by just slowly rotating the finger back and forth, up and down, and have the time of your life. Just make sure the finger doesn't glide up the shaft too much or it will come off.

FUN WITH COLD CUTS

If you happen to have a surplus of lunch meats in the fridge, get two slices of ham, turkey, or baloney and two slices of bread. Next, warm up the ham and bread in the microwave for a few seconds until warm — but not too hot. Put your favorite lube — preferably not mustard or mayo — on one side of each piece of ham, and wrap them both around your penis so it's covered. Do the same with the bread, but don't put lube on it. Masturbate as usual. The warm meat feels like the inside of a vagina. Note: This technique takes some a while, so don't do it unless you have a lot of time. (And don't do it at your job at the deli.)
 

AND DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS


A lot of people have discovered that a vibrator or back massager feels very good on the penis and can induce an orgasm. If you have no way of obtaining one of these, an electric toothbrush works well. You may want to cover the rough bristles of the brush attachment with something smoother than the bristles. You may also want to use a different brush attachment for your masturbation sessions and your tooth-brushing sessions. Note: Unless your technique is very delicate, you should use this method only occasionally, as intense artificial stimulation can reduce the sensitivity of your penis and make "regular" masturbation — as well as intercourse — significantly less enjoyable.

THE TURBAN

Fold a T-shirt in half lengthwise, put your penis in the fold at one end, and wrap the length of the shirt around your penis like a turban. Roll onto your stomach, and move your pillow down to chest level. Thrust your penis into the "turban" until you ejaculate. This method is good for those who masturbate just before they fall asleep — the "turban" traps the semen, and it can stay in place until morning.
 

PASTA PASTA PASTA


Cook some noodles in boiling water, pour off the excess water, and let the noodles cool off. Then make a penis-size hole in the pasta, which should be fairly stuck together at this stage. Then away you go. The wet pasta should be enough for a lube. Caution: Don't be too eager with this one — to avoid burning yourself, the pasta must have cooled enough so you could hold a finger inside it without any problem. And please, don't serve the pasta to your family afterwards!

SOCK'EM BOPPERS

In toy or discount stores there are inflatable boxing gloves called Sock'em Boppers. When inflated they are about 12" in diameter. Lie on top of the partially inflated tube and insert your penis where your hand should go; you can roll around and thrust to your heart's content. They're inexpensive and much easier to use and conceal than an inflatable doll, but they work really well. If you have the patience, you can fill the Sock'em Bopper with warm water. Non-oil-based lube is recommended.

VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM
This involves putting on a partially inflated condom. Blow up the condom very large — when you try to put it on, most of the air will rush out, but that's okay as long as some air is left in it. Once you have the partially blown-up condom on your penis, let out enough air until it's inflated only to the normal shape of the condom. (Keep too much air in it and the condom will pop. "Ribbed" condoms feel better with this technique. When you're done, just throw out the condom.
 

THE FEATHER DUSTER

Masturbate with a feather duster by dusting the head of your penis.

SQUIGGLY PEN

There's a toy called a "squiggly" pen, which is basically a pen with a built-in vibrator. Turn it on and place it on the underside of your penis, under the head. This is great because you can buy a "squiggly" pen for a few bucks and not feel embarrassed, because it looks so innocent.

STOCKING STUFFER

Insert your penis into the end of a nylon stocking, grip as you like, and start pumping. Then pull on the end of the stocking — this will tickle the penis glans (head), which feels nice.
 

SPEAKER THE DEVIL


Get a small speaker — with a power handling of about 20 watts. Feed it a sound source and boost the bass. The speaker cone will get some good vibrations going, so put your penis on the speaker cone. Note: As with other techniques that use artificial stimulation, use this one sparingly, as you can reduce the sensitivity of your penis if you do it too much.

THE COTTON-BALL KING

Get a large bag of cotton balls and wrap it around your penis. Make sure you surround the whole shaft; the more cotton, the better. It gives a nice, soft feeling and lets you use a firm grip.

THE DOUBLE WHAMMY

Obtain a very good back massager and put it aside for later. Begin to masturbate using your favorite method until you orgasm — then turn on the vibrator and press it against your penis, adjusting until it fits just right. Eventually a second orgasm will come — usually it doesn't take any time at all, and if you do it right you don't even need an erection. The best part is this doesn't seem to add to the usual downtime. You'll be able to get another erection in the time it would have taken you had you not used the vibrator.

"BALANCE LUBE"

This is for people who don't like their lube to be too slippery (like K-Y) or too thick (like Vaseline). Take a cup and put a little Vaseline petroleum jelly in it. Then add a dab or two of Aloe vera gel, along with a few drops of water. Next, add a dab of Vaseline Intensive Care. Then a couple dabs of bath gel or gel-style shaving cream (like Edge or Gillette for tough beards). Finally, add two squirts of baby oil. Mix well, and use as you would any other lube.

ALBOLENE FOREVER

An excellent lube is Albolene, which can be found at the drug store in some parts of the U.S. The jar, which has a blue and green label, says it's a "liquefying cleanser," but there's no soap in it. It's made for removing make-up, but it's terrific for masturbating. Apply a small amount, and you're good for an hour with no drying out — and it wipes off with a towel easily, leaving no stains. One important thing to remember about Albolene, however, is that it not to be used with condoms, since it's not water-based. Also note: Albolene seems to be sold only in certain parts of the U.S.; it may not be available on the West Coast or other parts of the world.

ULTIMATE MASTURBATION FLUID
Mix together the following ingredients:
1 teaspoon baby oil
2 tablespoons Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion
2 tablespoons facial cream (cold cream, etc.)
3 tablespoons aloe vera (the green stuff) 1 tablespoon Campho-Phenique canker-sore-numbing ointment (optional)
Get in the shower, and smear some of the fluid all over your penis and scrotum or anywhere else you want. Then get some more and put it all over your hands. Use the grip that makes you most comfortable, and enjoy. This is not something to try without being in the shower, as it can get messy.
 

SLICK-ACTION LUBE
Ingredients:
3 soup spoons of mayonnaise
1 teaspoon clove-oil extract
1 cup olive oil
1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly
Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke. It's messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.
 

FAKE SEMEN LUBE
Combine the wetness of hand lotion with the stickiness of K-Y Jelly by blending the two substances. Experiment with the ratio; you can end up with a mixture that has the appearance and consistency of semen. Recommended if you want to try masturbating with semen as a lube but lack the energy to masturbate twice.

TRY CORNSTARCH
Another product to use as a masturbation "lubricant" is cornstarch-based baby powder. Make sure it's cornstarch-based baby powder, which works better than regular baby powder. Just sprinkle on the penis and maybe some in the hand, and away you go. It's smooth, and not as messy as wet lube. Plus, it leaves a nice-scented powder behind, which can do any crotch good. You can put a shot or two of it in your underwear to keep you nice and fresh all day long. It costs a lot less than K-Y, and if it's found by your bed, it's much less embarrassing.

CETAPHIL
Cetaphil, available at some drug stores, is a skin cleanser for the entire body. Unlike traditional soap, it's non-abrasive and is not alkaline-based, so it's easier on your skin. It feels smooth, slippery, and cool. Just rub it on and go.
 

BABY OIL GEL
In the drug store, look for Baby Oil Gel. It's smoother than Vaseline but washes up easily, with just a little soap. It's also slicker than baby oil (and not as thin), water resistant (great in the shower), and leaves your hands and penis smooth and soft. And it's inexpensive. You might also try adding a little conventional baby oil to it: Put some gel on your hand, and then add a few drops of baby oil on your palm, and spread it around. The cleanup seems a little easier compared to just the gel.
 

THE E-TICKET
Vitamin E is a thick, golden oil that feels very good on the penis. For wild masturbators who rub themselves raw, vitamin E has healing effects on wounds, too. This is also true for guys who shave their pubic hair — razor nicks quickly covered with vitamin E heal quicker and leave less of a mark on your skin. With vitamin E, your penis feels great to the touch, even days later, and it looks young and smooth. You can open 10 or 15 of the capsules, but opening enough capsules for a large penis is a lot of work. Look for one-ounce bottles in your supermarket's vitamin section.

JASMINE OIL
Blended jasmine essential oil is a good lubricant. The scent of jasmine is erotic, and when applied liberally to the penis or vagina, it can lead to great experiences. Make sure you buy the blended form; the pure form is more expensive. Another oil that can be mixed into your lubricant is ylang ylang, which is heady and erotic, but use it sparingly — if you use more than one drop it can burn a little.

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